"Crunching Emotions: A Wash of Desire, Temptation, and Intimacy"

10/6/2024

So I was with a coworker and we have a thing called a bailer at work if crushes cardboard. Instead of that I was washing clothes in it his and mine. When I went to take them out only my clothes were in there and he was mad and confused which so was I. This coworker is also my roommate. The. The dream switched and I’m on vacation with my ex and her mom. I was super excited and I realized wow I didn’t have to pay for one. It was October 8th. I went to the living room and asked essence if she wanted help paying for it. For one am trying to do better with my diet and stay away from red meats especially pork. I had a dream where someone was eating a delicious smelling and looked good right off the bone pork rib and were trying to entice me with it, I didn’t eat it but I was literally salivating going crazy. I wonder if this is a reflection of my real life, I struggle with avoiding temptation especially sex and food. Also yesterday I ate 4 chips that I had just talked about not supposed to be eating. Takis with red 40(the dye disregulated my emotions). So it was crazy when she was sitting there eating the rib and I was able to decline but everything in me was like eat the rib her outstretched hand wiggling the tender soft tasty juicy flesh was super hard to turn down. She freaked out and kinda left after telling me it was 200 a night and I could pay 100 a night. Then me and my ex went into this room. (My ex and I are still cool in real life just on a family friend basis and I help out financially). So anyways she told me that essence was just freaking out cuz I guess she wasn’t expecting me to ask that. Then she asked me something I can’t remember I just remember looking out the window to all the banks and high rise fancy towers the hotel seemed to be moving as well. Then she was a hurt wasn’t listening to her and just started kissing me. Hard and fast. At first I was confused because she really cares about feelings and stuff. But I guess she just wanted to take in the moment and intimacy she could get? I have a history of not being emotionally available in our relationship. So I make sure to slow down the kids and pour as much love and care I could into it. I slowly caressed her and got into position for sex. Then I woke up.

Dreams often reflect our subconscious thoughts, emotions, and experiences, and your dream seems to be rich in symbolic meaning related to your current life situations, feelings, and struggles. Let’s break down the components of your dream:

Bailer and Laundry

Symbolism of the Bailer: The bailer represents a tool for processing or managing something in your life (here, cardboard). However, replacing it with washing clothes could indicate a desire to clean or sort through your personal relationships or emotions, particularly those tied to your coworker/roommate.
Missing Clothes: Only your clothes being in the bailer might symbolize feelings of ownership or clarity about your own needs and emotions in the context of your relationship with this coworker, possibly highlighting a sense of confusion or disappointment in that relationship.

Vacation with Ex

Returning to the Past: Dreaming of vacationing with your ex suggests a longing for connection, joy, or simpler times. It might also indicate unresolved feelings or a desire for closure.
Financial Dynamics: The mention of not having to pay shows a desire for ease or relief from responsibilities, while also illustrating your current generosity, as you help her financially in real life.

Temptation and Food

Pork Rib Temptation: The imagery of delicious food, particularly something you’re trying to avoid, reflects your ongoing struggle with temptation, especially in terms of diet and possibly other desires functionally linked to the same feelings of indulgence (like sexual temptation).
Reaction to Temptation: Your strong reaction of salivating over the pork ribs indicates a significant internal conflict. It’s symbolic of the battles you face in resisting temptations in your waking life, whether related to food or other desires.

Intimacy with Ex

Physical Connection: The intimate moment with your ex illustrates the complexity of your relationship, which seems to blend both past feelings and current care. Her spontaneous kiss showcases a need for intimacy that is perhaps still present despite the emotional distance.
Emotional Availability: Your awareness of past emotional unavailability reveals growth and a desire to be more present and invested in relationships. The care you show in the dream supports your intention to be more emotionally open.

Summary

Overall, your dream touches on themes of temptation, emotional complexity, relationship dynamics, and personal growth. It reflects your internal conflicts about desires and your efforts to manage and understand them. This dream could be your mind's way of grappling with current life choices, intimacy, and how you relate to others, particularly in balancing personal desires versus commitments. As you navigate these dynamics in your life, consider reflecting on your emotional needs and how they manifest in your relationships.